Owning a home comes with new chores responsibilities.  Mowing the lawn is something I haven’t had to do since living with my parents, so it was oddly exciting to start mowing my OWN lawn now that we have a house.

Feeling the pride of home ownership swell, I tromped into the backyard with my newly purchased lawn mower, quickly studying the land.  I notice on one of the stepping bricks, some little ants have attempted to make a mound.  I smush and scatter their home with my shoe, destroying all of their hard work, and I get on to mowing the lawn.

About 3 minutes later, in some sort of unholy synchronization, I feel several stings on my legs.  I frantically start swiping off these once innocent ants.  Of course, the act of swiping only seemed to spread them to other places on my body – including my arms and neck.

At this point, I was confused, and slowly realizing how many times I had been stung.  Michigan has no such little demon ants – I recall playing with ants several times as a boy.  Some days I would take the role of their merciful god and offering them chocolate and other goodies, and other days taking on the role of a benevolent overlord, causing spontaneous combustion with a simply magnifying glass.

Revenge was to be had on these new ants!  It took all of 60 minutes for me to check the internet, identify the assailants, and go to the local store for some fire ant killer.

Revenge was had swiftly, but they certainly left their marks on my legs.  It took a surprisingly long time for those stings to heal, and I think there are still little scars there.

I am happy to report though, our backyard has been fire ant free now for at least a month.  I swear, I’m not cowering inside afraid of my own backyard.

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