I ran into a problem on day #2 of ownership though – and here is your challange: find the flaw in my actions during the first 2 days of ownership.

I picked up the car on a Monday night, and drove it home (weeeeeee!).  The next morning, I drive it into work (weeeeee!).  I admired my car in the parking lot at work as I walked away from it.  After work, I notice as I walk up to my car that my suspicions about the black color of the car exposing any and all dust were confirmed!  Blast!  Not to worry, there is a cheap automatic car wash on the way home so I can see her sparkle.  I took her for a quick bath, and drove home.

I pulled into my driveway, and sure enough – she was sparkling!  But wait…something was wrong.  What was it?

Today at work, the following email exchange took place:

To: brah.john

From: Older Coworker

Check out this – I did not know this.

I quickly did my 10 seconds of research, and replied.

To: Older Coworker

From: brah.john

You can’t fool us whippersnappers.  We have teh internets.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/humor/batteryhack.asp

And then, as if he were paid to set himself up royally, he replied back.

To: brah.john

From: Older Coworker

At least us old farts know how to spell.  I’m not sure what “teh” means:)

Laughing hysterically in my cube, my response merely contained a link to the Urban Dictionary definition of “Teh Internets“, of which the first definition is:

teh internets:  A word often used scornfully to point out a newbie‘s lack of knowledge of the internet and distinctive language.  “OMG, liek, this is your first time on TEH INTERNETS!!!”

Feeling the pride of home ownership swell, I tromped into the backyard with my newly purchased lawn mower, quickly studying the land.  I notice on one of the stepping bricks, some little ants have attempted to make a mound.  I smush and scatter their home with my shoe, destroying all of their hard work, and I get on to mowing the lawn.

About 3 minutes later, in some sort of unholy synchronization, I feel several stings on my legs.  I frantically start swiping off these once innocent ants.  Of course, the act of swiping only seemed to spread them to other places on my body – including my arms and neck.

At this point, I was confused, and slowly realizing how many times I had been stung.  Michigan has no such little demon ants – I recall playing with ants several times as a boy.  Some days I would take the role of their merciful god and offering them chocolate and other goodies, and other days taking on the role of a benevolent overlord, causing spontaneous combustion with a simply magnifying glass.

Revenge was to be had on these new ants!  It took all of 60 minutes for me to check the internet, identify the assailants, and go to the local store for some fire ant killer.

Revenge was had swiftly, but they certainly left their marks on my legs.  It took a surprisingly long time for those stings to heal, and I think there are still little scars there.

I am happy to report though, our backyard has been fire ant free now for at least a month.  I swear, I’m not cowering inside afraid of my own backyard.

Warning! This product may cause spontaneous air-guitar moves when out in public and one of the contained songs becomes audible. This product is not recommended for those individuals that are easily embarrassed.

I realized this after hitting up Rhar Brewing company for free beer. A guitar hero song came on, and I wasn’t quite sure how I knew the song, but I and a fellow Guitar Hero player both had strange urges to bust some of our best air-guitar moves.